Survivor Moms
Women’s Stories of Birthing, Mothering
and Healing after Sexual Abuse

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 ~ Life before Motherhood

• Kay's Story
• History: What Happened
• History: Disclosure
• The Range of Effects after Abuse
• Effects: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
  • Intrusive Re-experiencing
  • Avoidance and Emotional Numbing
  • Arousal
• Effects: Other Trauma-related Problems
  • Dissociation
  • Somatization
  • Interpersonal Problems
  • Substance Abuse and Disordered Eating
  • Poor Self-care: High Risk Sexual Behavior, Revictimization and Self-harm
• Effects: Depression
• Effects: Altered Memory
• Outlook for Help and Recovery
• Relationships
• Sexual Intimacy
• Pregnancy as an Impetus for Change
• Breaking the Chain
• Where in the Process

Chapter 2 ~ Pregnancy

• Elaine's Story
• Pregnancy as a Trigger
• Needing Help and Getting It
• Family Relations
• Bodily Experience of Pregnancy
• Relationships with Care Providers
• Issues for Providers: Gaining Skill in the Therapeutic Relationship
• Three Key Relationship Issues
  • Trust
  • Boundaries
  • Transference and Countertransference
• Conclusion

Chapter 3 ~ Labor and Birth

• Katherine's Story
• Lynelle's Story
• Overview
• What Is Left Out
• Reading this Chapter
• Issues of Care, Control and Coping Strategies
• Finding Your "Match"
• Relationships with Caregivers
• Childbirth Classes
• Birth Plans
• Labor and Birth as Triggers
• Dealing with Pain
• Doulas
• Birth, Paradigms, Traumatic Stress and Empathy
• The Art of Attending and Facilitating Birth
• Honoring Complexity and the Efforts of Individuals
• A Physician's Perspective
• A Midwife's Perspective
• A Survivor Mom's Perspective
• The Healing Power of Birth

Chapter 4 ~ Postpartum and Breastfeeding

• Claire's Story
• Postpartum Depression, Anxiety and PTSD
• Processing Birth
• Postpartum Mood Disorder
• Practical Help and Peer Support
• Therapy
• Medications
• Parenting Classes
• Sharing the Burden with Trustworthy People
• Breastfeeding
• Making the Decision Whether or Not to Breastfeed
• Breastfeeding and Posttraumatic Stress
• Getting Help
• Breastfeeding and Bonding
• Making Adaptations
• Breastfeeding as Healing
• Professional Advice for Lactation Consultants and Postpartum Caregivers
• What You Can Do
• Conclusion

Chapter 5 ~ Mothering and Attachment

• Sadie's Story
• Kim's Story
• Will I Abuse My Child?
• Attachment
• Mental Health
• Relationship with the Child's Body
• Gender
• Boundaries and Discipline
• Keeping Kids Safe
• Telling Children
• My Child Was Abused
• Survivors' Other Parenting Thoughts
• Good Enough Moms
• Breaking the Chain
• Healing through Mothering

Chapter 6 ~ Healing and Survivorship

• Deborah's Story
• Relationships
• Family
• Friends
• Intimate Partner Relationships
• Therapy
• Getting into Therapy
• Troubles with Therapy
• Being in Therapy
• Group Work
• Confronting the Abuser
• Recovery as a Lifelong Process
• Faith-based Healing
• Abuse by Clergy
• On Forgiveness
• Alternative Healing Modalities
  • Massage Therapy
  • EMDR
  • Music Therapy
  • Art Therapy
• About Being a Survivor: Terminology
• Activism
• Conclusion

Afterword

Resources

References